Tag Archives: personal-growth

Where the magic happens

The key to getting things done is doing them on your own terms.

This is a motto of mine; words I live by. A commute can be a pain, but what if I left a little earlier, took the scenic route, drank some good coffee and listened to a good book on the way? Dishes can be a pia, but with music? What if I focus on the bubbles?

As a researcher, I am often motivated by the power of noticing. As a moderator, this means providing space for the quietest voices to blossom. As an analyst, this means taking the time and care to represent all of the voices, not just the loudest or most eloquent.

I’ve often taken pride in my invisibility as a facilitator. I feel like I’ve done my job when I’m barely noticed, but the tone is set, the participants are at ease and the conversation stays on track through the subtlest of prompts and cues.

Today I’m kayaking. I enjoy racing through the water, but when I stop, I see birds hidden in tall grass, fish jumping, and the almost magical pops of light reflecting on water and trees.

My community work has also followed this model; amplifying quiet voices, endorsing those who seem tentative but I know to be insightful. Noticing.

This is my way of working, living and interacting in the world, and this is what drives me to do the work I’m doing now.

I have a voice that I have never hesitated to use. But I’ve learned that the world comes alive around me when I choose to observe. I trust that the same voice I use to advocate for others is well practiced and fully available when I need it, and with that trust I can fade back.

I’m in a transformative moment. I’m deciding what I want to build and that requires repeatedly doubling back to my principles. What do I stand for? What do I provide as naturally as I breathe or paddle? Who am I without institutional backing, when I’m free to create?

There is a large exodus in my field; people who have lost jobs and are beginning consultancies. For some, the path may feel more clear than for others. How can we support each other better? Connect more? Collaborate more? Grow stronger together? Are we all adrift? Could we paddle together?

When I finished my paddle today, I pulled onto shore and a park employee greeted me. I saw poop on both sides of the kayak and tried to point it out to her. She didn’t see me or hear me. She appeared to have already decided my words didn’t merit her attention. ‘Watch where you step!” I shouted, after a few attempts, and then watched her croc’d foot come down in a large pile of poop. In this world of paddlers, where we all sit under the same blanket of sky and listen to the sounds of birds that live freely amongst and between us, I choose to listen, to observe, to hear, to find pockets of magic and to step in poop as little as possible.

What is the real product here?

I was recently talking with a friend about my community conversation series. She told me that the real value in the sessions was in the data produced. I was shocked! Do community conversations produce data?

I have to say; this ruffled my feathers. The intention behind the session was always one of self expression, forming or reinforcing connections between people, fostering healing and resilience, and building community. If they were intended for data collection, I would have instituted a consent process and considered inviting ethical review. Data collection has a very different connotation in my field, and these are community based advocacy, not focus groups!

But I’ve been ruminating further on her words. Coming out of these sessions, there’s a clearer sense of what people are experiencing, how they are coping and what kinds of resources would be helpful to better support them at this time. And honestly, for any group that knows that some members are suffering, these are important outputs.

Are they data? No. Insights? No. Traditionally, they are none of these things. But they do provide valuable and necessary information that can be built upon to build better support systems and structures.

I’ve heard anecdotally from many groups of people affected by the sweeping government changes that they want to know what’s going on with their members and how to support them. I honestly believe that these community conversations are the answer to that; allowing both an opportunity to support people and an opportunity to explore a path forward through the chaos.

The value is on both one-off sessions and in repeated sessions within the same community. My mission is to build them in such a way that groups and people can benefit. It’s a slow process, as I figure out how to meet people where they are, and I’m always open to advice or interest!

Interesting in joining a session or getting involved?

Here is the mailing list:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfrIlrlCJzm5E4ahoR_JOh6E-KaB1nbGyJ2SmdQqKL99JHrOQ/viewform?usp=sharing&ouid=114493619372705360657

Here is the next online session:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1382445414449?aff=oddtdtcreator

Let’s be real for a moment.

Let me be really honest with you.

This community conversation effort is one of the most fulfilling projects I’ve ever been involved with. I believe in the groups and find them cathartic. The support I’ve received and enthusiasm for the effort blows me away, and I’ve had amazing conversations with people in my network about how to build them. I’m excited about the possibility of adding additional activities and opportunities to connect with art and nature and even do retreats!

But I have one big, perpetual challenge in bringing them to fruition.

For whatever reason, people heartily cheer from the sidelines and then don’t register for the events. People don’t seem to believe that these sessions are for them.

Some people are intimidated by the weight of the subject. But they haven’t seen the lightness that people walk out of these rooms with. Ultimately, the events feel like a wellness activity that leaves people smiling, laughing, relaxed, connected and inspired. We’re countering the weight, not basking in it.

Some people don’t want to talk about what they’ve been through. I get that. But it’s not school. You’re welcome to come and listen!

Some people care a lot, but aren’t directly affected. To these people I say we still need problem solvers, workers, concern and support.

And what is there to gain from all of this?


1) First, wellness. Skill-building. As a caregiver, I work regularly with anxiety and grounding techniques that have been transformative. I want to share what I’ve learned, because we are continually dealt blows. I want us to be ready for them as they come.


2) Connection to community. Community is bigger than us. It spreads the load on our shoulders across multiple backs. It allows us to care and be cared for.


3) A sense of where we are and how we can survive and even thrive in this fast-changing environment. The occupational and political landscape today is unique, and we will need to find new ways to handle it. If we can dream it, we can build it!

I don’t know, ultimately, whether this idea will grow the way I dream. But I’d like to believe that we can build community networks to support each other, grow in innovative ways, stay ready, heal together, and be inspired together by our common passions for learning, for art, for a natural world that is bigger than us, and for a good common humanity that still exists beneath the surface of this plastic, unfeeling society.

I want to believe that we can build something beautiful together!

There are two upcoming events, one in-person and one online. We’re working on more, different types of events, focusing on individual topics, sharing about books, making art together, being in nature together and more.

In-person event:
Community Conversation: Finding our Footing in this Uncertain Time https://www.eventbrite.com/e/community-conversation-finding-our-footing-in-this-uncertain-time-tickets-1363624811519?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=wsa&aff=ebdsshwebmobile

Online event:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/online-community-conversation-finding-our-footing-in-this-uncertain-time-tickets-1382445414449?aff=oddtdtcreator

Mailing list:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfrIlrlCJzm5E4ahoR_JOh6E-KaB1nbGyJ2SmdQqKL99JHrOQ/viewform?usp=header


Please, come join us. You’re welcome! Come as you are. Bring your baggage. Lighten your load. Find connection and inspiration. Believe in us.

Navigating Career Changes from the Inside Out

Years ago on this blog, I wrote about approaching career changes from the inside out. I had accomplished the biggest career change of my life that way, by following my passions with my books, talks and extra research sessions and then blogging about them here.

Last week at the annual AAPOR conference in St Louis, an attendee in a session about Navigating Career Change asked about feeling unsatisfied with their work. This is a common motivation for switching jobs, but I chimed in from the audience as a voice of caution.

“I think about it like an unscratched itch,” I advised. “Maybe there is some part of you that your work life isn’t satisfying. But this is a horrible time to switch jobs so I advise you instead to find other ways to scratch that itch. You may still decide you’re ready for a change, but if, for example, you decide that you really do need your job to offer more space for creativity, you now have recent experiences to speak to as examples of you pursuing your creative endeavors.”

We expect our jobs to be our calling, our everything. And we give them everything. But we are so many things, and we need to exist beyond our work.

I’m at another point of career change. After nearly 30 years of working in my career- with the longest break being 3 weeks of maternity leave, I’ve lost my job as a government contractor as part of the deep federal cuts. I could look directly for another position, but I want to take my time with it. We only live once, and I want to take inventory of all of my itches before deciding how to scratch.

I want to build out this Community Conversations initiative, but I want to be thoughtful about it. I’m not trying to recreate what others have done, so much as build something new that fits our current needs. This requires intuition, reflection, patience, resilience, and determination. It means that some days are among the most fulfilling of my life, hosting cathartic community sessions or having really inspiring conversations with friends and colleagues, and some days I wonder why I’m adrift instead of staying on the career path.

This initiative was founded from the inside out, reflecting 

  1. my facilitation skills that I’ve learned through years of moderating, facilitating and community work, 
  2. my passion for building mental health that was cultivated through voices like Iyanla Vanzant, Pema Chodron, Rachel Cargle and the Nap Ministry,
  3. my profound interest in community based participatory research and the principles that guide it, and
  4. my love of strategic conversations, brainstorming and forming new ways to approach problems.

Forming an initiative from the inside out means that guiding our next steps is a continual process of self reflection. This means that a day spent at one of my favorite art galleries, taking pictures that I may able to use for an exhibit of my own one day, getting lost in the woods on its campus and finding new ways to engage with my surroundings is just as important as a day spent documenting the plan for the initiative, including the financial and communication aspects.

I always imagined my life in chapters, with a later chapter as a more wholeheartedly creative era. And I love the creativity I’m feeling now! But a change so dramatic as this requires some careful stewardship and navigation.

I’m not really sure where any of this is headed, but I’m confident that just as when I recreated my life before, these steps will lead me in the right direction. Because I’m scratching my itches!

Have you navigated big changes like this? Do you have unscratched itches? Do you have any advice or resources to offer? Please comment! Let’s continue the conversation.

Picture taken by me, in the grounds of the Glenstone Museum in Potomac, MD 5/22/2025

The Lost Value of Community

What role does community play in your life? Maybe you have a circle of friends or a supportive family. You may have a religious or professional community that is supportive, nurturing or helpful. Maybe your neighborhood nurtures strong ties, or a hobby group of yours feels like ‘your people.’ These networks can be invaluable in our lives, and yet they are rarely held up for the value they offer.

In the recent turmoil, with the uncertainty around government work and government contracting, my own networks began to take on a different character. My friends began sharing memes about the uncertainty and rapidly unfolding events and laughing together as we also supported each other through dramatic changes in our own workplaces. My LinkedIn network began more personable and supportive, and I began to follow updates to keep track of what was happening to my current and former colleagues.

In our local networks, we persistently asked, ‘what can we do differently to address the rapidly changing needs of the people in our network?’

This, my friends, is the core purpose of the Community Conversation series I’ve been building. In each session, participants have an opportunity to talk about the changes afoot, interspersed with grounding exercises that progressively relax us and help us practice skills for managing acute anxiety and distress. Once we are calmer, and we have had our say, and we have a better sense of what people are experiencing, we brainstorm together about how we can support each other differently at this time, ideally in ways that empower people in our networks that may feel as though they’ve had something stripped away.

In one professional group, this meant rethinking professional support in a more horizontal way. What if we formed learning communities for those who want to practice, learn or teach R or Python? What if we created networks for pairing mentors, build networks of lobbyists to speak on behalf of our field, or offer resume review from peer to peer? We spoke about how we embody the knowledge, skills and institutional history of our field, and it is important for us to remember that in our approaches to self and community care. We spoke about having potlucks and cooking for each other instead of just attending costly happy hours. The community conversation series is about collective healing and protecting that which we believe in- in new and exciting ways.

In one church group, the support looks differently. We learn more about each other as we express our experiences and fears, build some collective peace, and learn about what our community members need and have to offer in very different ways. We represent a mix of professions and backgrounds, and we find new ways to protect and support the church family.

These conversations blow my mind, because they involve a deeper level of connection than I have previously seen in these networks. They help people feel valued, empowered, supported, connected and ready for whatever comes their way. People arrive at the groups with the strong emotions they have been carrying on their own shoulders and leaving smiling, laughing and relaxed. This is, at its core, what it means to restore people.

And yet, building these networks further will require funding, volunteer labor or institutional help. The groups themselves need to remain free or close to it. But there are expenses; a zoom account, physical meeting spaces, food for meetings, possibly technological support, etc. Stay tuned in the near future for opportunities to assist.

In the meantime, I encourage you to join our mailing list, to hear about upcoming events and activities or to get involved. We are also available to answer any questions you may have about the initiative.

join our mailing list: https://forms.gle/usQPq46moTo3hmu58

attend a virtual event: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/community-conversation-finding-our-footing-in-this-uncertain-time-tickets-1322116238259?aff=oddtdtcreator

You may see the need for these groups but not your place within them. I want you to know that there is room for everyone to come as you are. Experience some peace, and connect more deeply with others in your community. Together we can weather whatever comes our way. Alone, we may just be blown away in the breeze.